I had an extremely stressful week followed by a long and busy weekend, therefore, I am not at all in the mood to write this journal entry today. I’ll try to give it my best shot anyway, and just hope that the negative attitude I have been plagued with lately doesn’t bleed too heavily into my writing and thoughts about this class. Sometimes I hate writing sooo much, but for some reason, it never ceases to be something I am passionate about (not this type of writing, though). I dislike being forced to write things for school all the time. Although it improves my skills and helps me to reflect on my work, I am just selfish about my writing because I like to do it when I want, where I want, and by my own rules (there’s my stubborn, Taurus side shining through yet again). So really, there are two main types of writing I engage in…the writing I am required to do for school, and the writing that I do in my own spare time for a hobby. Although I try my best to do well on my writing assignments for school, those assignments are most definitely not where my most thought-out, well-constructed, and meaningful work can be found. These two very different writing environments constitute the primary foundation for the love/hate relationship I am currently experiencing with writing. Lately, I can’t find any middle ground because I don’t have the time to write as a hobby because of the never-ending writing assignments for school. Ok, on to the topics REALLY meant to be discussed.

In regards to the content presented this week, the assignments mimicked those of the previous week. I peer-reviewed my group’s fourth genres at various times throughout the week and read over others’ responses to my own work. It makes me feel good to offer suggestions to my peers that could potentially help make their work stronger. I like the fact that others are reading and reviewing my work, as well. When other peers read my work, it makes me feel like I’m not just completing this time consuming and involved project for merely one person (the teacher). Of course, millions of people have online access to this ongoing project, but other students in this class are the ones who truly understand the work and planning that goes into the genres. So, what I’m saying is that it’s encouraging to receive feedback about my MRP from my peers. I also appreciate the ongoing thoroughness of my group members’ peer reviews. I can tell that they take this assignment seriously by the way they always go into detail about at least one of the sections of the peer review. One thing that I was a little confused about this week was if a group member completed three (or more) parts to a particular genre, do I, as a peer reviewer have to peer review all of them? I assume that the answer is yes, but this really made the peer reviews a much more involved process than I had originally thought. Regardless of the time, I was still glad to help.

Moreover, I enjoyed the MOO meeting this week. Since we hadn’t met online for a couple weeks, it was the perfect time to reconvene and share our ideas and progress. It seems that now everyone has at least a rough idea of how their MRP will be unified. I am going to do a Power Point presentation as a unifying genre, I believe. Presently, I am unsure precisely how I will incorporate all of the genres into this presentation, but I know that it can be done. It will just take a little more time to develop a creative idea about this unifier. Although I thought about how certain genres can connect in the unifier, I am planning on expanding those connections even further next week (hey—I’ll get there, it just takes me time!). I want the unifying genre to be in the voice of the clinician. I am gravitating toward the idea of the clinician presenting a “case study” about assessing the needs of one ESL client. The Power Point presentation may be given at a conference to other SLP’s who may be unaccustomed to working with ESL clients, or to aspiring SLP’s who may be unfamiliar with the notion that working with ESL clients can fall within a SLP’s domain. Actually, I have been contemplating (just as Heather has) completing an additional genre for my MRP. If in fact, I could not get my Power Point presentation to adequately unify all of my genres, I will then have to further consider this option. A brainstorm about an extra genre at this point is having the clinician write a short narrative about her experiences with this particular ESL client, while incorporating the various genre links throughout her writing. I know that it is vague to not say “how” the links will be incorporated in her writing, but the simple fact remains that I don’t know yet. I probably won’t know until I start writing her story. Therefore, while I could plan out the incorporation of genres extensively, I will most likely change all of those ideas anyway. I know it’s good to have a concrete plan, but that doesn’t always work for me. It’s usually in the “doing” that my plans are created and formed (as opposed to them stemming from my original ideas, then later being perfected). Hope that makes sense.

In regards to my fifth genre, I am still working on it at the present time. I came up with the idea to do an interview between the client and the clinician. The primary purpose of this interview would be to demonstrate one part/example of the needs assessment process. For instance, the clinician could present one specific questionnaire (or incorporate relevant parts from a few different questionnaires) to the client and have him verbally respond. I will then present the interaction between the client and the clinician in the form of a written interview. I’m unsure if this would actually be considered a real interview. However, I just looked up the word, “interview,” and Merriam-Webster says that it is, “a formal consultation usually to evaluate qualifications,” or, “a meeting at which information is obtained from a person.” Clearly, when an SLP assesses the needs of any client, information about the client is obtained. I guess I just answered my own question then…or at least if I don’t have the right answer, I have information to support why I think that needs assessment is a form of interview. Completing a genre like this would give the audience some idea of how one part of a needs assessment could flow. I can always revise it if, in fact, it did not meet the criteria for being a legitimate genre. I have no shame in revising anything, anymore. That is one huge change in my thinking that has recently occurred. At this point, I am curious how many times I will have to revise my MRP genres before I turn in my final project? I also wonder if I should be gradually doing this along the way? Probably. I tend to ask questions that I already know the answers to. One other question I wonder is just how many people in our class will be able to find a definite answer to their essential question? I know already that my answer is not a definite one, but I also know that it isn’t required to be. I can support my reasoning as to why I feel that needs assessment in ESL clients can greatly contribute to a SLP’s planning of an effective therapy plan. I also wonder if there is such a thing as a definitive answer to an essential question. I think this would depend on the nature of the question. Still yet, I doubt that any essential question would have only one answer. Maybe, though. Right now, I’m trying to think about a question that may only have one answer, but I can’t come up with any at the moment. Maybe I can later if I think more extensively about it. Anyway, I just feel glad that I’ve worked hard on the genres up to this point. Since, in my opinion, their content is strong, when I complete a final unifying genre, the whole project will become cohesive and strong. At least that is my hope. I plan to continue to work hard on the genres in the upcoming weeks, so that this hope can become a reality. Then, I can leave this class without asking a million, “What-if,” questions about the quality of my project.

BTW, I’ve heard many people who say that they can’t believe it’s the 9th week already or that school has flown by this semester. Everyone thinks differently, but I absolutely disagree. On the contrary, I feel that every excruciating moment of this semester has lasted an eternity. I know this semester has just over a month remaining, but I still cannot envision the, “light at the end of the tunnel,” with this class or any of my classes. I’m frustrated, exhausted, and struggling desperately not to loose confidence in my ability to be a successful student. I always say, “hopefully next week will be better,” and this is rarely ever the case. Yes, I’m learning a lot of tremendously valuable information this semester, but at the same time, I’m sacrificing MY LIFE! Where weekends were once a relaxing haven, they now are merely extensions of the weekdays…tense, hectic, and full of endless assignments, projects, papers, test preparation (which, judging from my performance on recent tests, is apparently an area where I’m greatly lacking) and planning for the upcoming week. I guess I am bothered by the fact that our assignments in here are due on Sundays. While it is always ideal that the work be completed for this class prior to the Sunday night deadline, at times, this is difficult or even impossible (at least for me). I think that having the Sunday deadline is helpful, but it also tempts me to not worry about finishing every assignment during the week (a very bad thing). Bottom line…I am not as thankful for a busy life as I was previously in this semester (I wrote about this topic in an earlier journal entry). Sorry if some of my thoughts are irrelevant to the purpose of this journal, but I really don’t think they are. Here’s why…outside stressors such as work for other classes, personal issues, etc. all effect on my performance in this class because of the considerable amount of time required for these additional projects/engagements. I only wish I had taken this class at an earlier time! Even though my thinking/writing skills wouldn’t have been as sharp as they are now, my overall performance in the class and on the MRP would have probably been better because more time could have been allotted to thinking about, planning, and revising my MRP. Again, I apologize for going off in this entry, but I believe that the week’s content, processes, and new changes in my thinking have all been adequately addressed. The quote I chose for this week describes me quite well and definitely pertains to the way I write for journals, prompts, genres, and reflections. Although great thought and planning go in to what I will write about, I often fail to see the “big picture” until all of my writing has been completed and organized in a logical manner. My hope is that I will be able to clearly recognize and understand what I’ve done with my MRP after all of my work for it has been completed. Until next time...

“Very few writers really know what they are doing until they’ve done it. Nor do they go about their business feeling dewy and thrilled.” -- Anne Lamott