Week Four Online Journal

This week was interesting because it was the birthplace of our class’ first online meeting. I went to the library early and found a nice, quiet corner spot on the second floor to work. I looked over my command papers and logged on early just to make sure I could do everything correctly. Once everyone logged on, I was surprised at how easily the conversation flowed. It really wasn’t awkward at all to converse online as a class. I have been using AOL instant messenger for numerous years now, so I’m familiar with this form of conversation one on one, but I’ve never really experienced communicating online as part of a group. I’m glad that the class meeting was emailed to the class because it really is difficult to catch every statement that appears on the screen. Overall, I felt that this first meeting was very productive. I liked the type of interaction and the exchange of ideas that went on. I enjoyed talking with others about their topics and receiving feedback about my topic and essential question, as well. One downfall, however, was that two members of my group were missing, so that left only Heather and I to converse. I think we both offered each other some helpful ideas, but it would have been better with more ideas and feedback from the other group members. The more the merrier, eh?
As far as completing the assignments go, all I can say is…that catch up week can’t come soon enough for me! It’s not that the assignments are hard, it’s just that they are time-consuming and require a little bit of thinking (generally, what takes a little thinking for most, requires a lot for me, as I tend to over-analyze and over-think issues). I have been trying to space out the assignments, but it’s been hard for me this week for some reason. I always get the assignments completed on time, but I wish I could get them done sooner. One thing I’ve learned about myself is that if there is a writing prompt that I really must think about to answer well, it takes me a while to complete this process. So, I figured it would be a good idea to type out and save all of my writing prompts and other response questions in Microsoft Word first, and then transfer them to their appropriate locations after I’ve finished. This method really suites me because I am constantly thinking of other things to add and ways to change what I’ve already written. Instead of immediately posting my responses to the blogs, this way I can write some now, some later, or do it all now and come back later to revise it. Let’s see…what else? I really enjoyed the smaller assignments this week like the web searches and the VARK inventory. I think it was wise to have us search three engines because I know that I usually tend to stick with my favorite engine instead of exploring other more unfamiliar ones. I also learned how to more effectively use the advanced searches on these search engines just by playing around with them a little . Previously, I hadn’t had much luck when I did an advanced search, but I think that was because I didn’t know the correct way to refine the search or rephrase my topic. I’m really still not sure if I know the correct way to do it. However, I think that our day at the computer lab definitely helped me to better understand how to do this. One thing I had great difficulty with this week was the webliography. I think this is just one of those things where I will need to take more time trying out different options and then figuring out what works best for me. I know that this is an assignment I should have done much sooner in the week. Thankfully, this is just an extremely rough draft because I know that if I have enough time to work on it, mine will be very good. I am wondering now whether or not there is some sort of book that I can look at to get more options for backgrounds, colors, and the like? If so, I need to look at it.

When reflecting back upon this week, I begin to wonder where the tiny beginnings of my project will lead me to at the end of the semester. I also wonder what my webliography and my blog will look like after all work for this class has been completed. It seems so far away, but it is exciting to think that the little projects we're doing now will build upon each other and possibly lead to changes in my thinking. It's very exciting to me...and I'm sure will make doing all this work very worthwhile. Here's the quote I found while thinking about beginnings, processes, and projects this week.

"No matter what happens, keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you find that you have accomplished a purpose--not the one you began with perhaps, but one you will be glad to remember."
---Anne Sullivan

My research area focuses on individuals acquiring English as a second language. My essential question was, “What therapeutic methods are used by SLP’s when working with individuals learning E.S.L.?” Potential foundation questions that could be asked pertaining to this topic are listed below.

1. Why would someone learning E.S.L. enroll in speech therapy?
2. Why do SLP’s often work with these individuals?
3. What types of specialized materials/learning resources are used with individuals learning E.S.L.?
4. What types of language/communication difficulties to people learning E.S.L. encounter?
5. What types of language distortions typically occur as a result of foreign accents?
6. How does the language of E.S.L. speakers improve as a result of speech therapy?
7. Who decides if an individual learning E.S.L. is in need of speech therapy?

Reflecting upon my history as a learner, I can recall many interesting experiences that have molded me into the person that I am today. The first goes back to kindergarten right around report card time. It was my first report card and I was very excited because I thought that I had done wonderfully on all subjects (I had previously learned most of the subject matter from my parents or at preschool). At this time, the grading system was not A,B, C, D, F. It was E for Excellent, G for Good, S for Satisfactory, U for Unsatisfactory and I for Incomplete. I had received all E’s on this report card with the exception of one S. I don’t actually remember doing this, but I simply whited out the S, and with a completely different colored pen, replaced it with an E in my best kindergarten handwriting. Needless to say, my alteration looked vastly different from my teacher’s next to perfect handwriting, and my parents were livid when I presented them with what I believed was a flawless report card. They could not understand why I thought I had to bring home “perfect” grades because they had made it clear this was not one of their expectations of me. They made me white out the other grade, change it, and then go into my teacher and explain what I had done. Although I am extremely embarrassed that I did this, it was from this experience I learned that dishonesty and success can never go hand in hand. This is also an example of how, even at such an early age, I thought my grades had to perfect (I still have the white out laden report card at home to prove it.!).

This drive for perfection continued to impede my learning from that day forward. Throughout grade school and high school, I always studied a great deal, paid attention in class, did my homework, and turned in work that I was usually very proud of. I liked learning and applying what I had learned to different situations. I loved thinking about alternate solutions to math problems or thinking about the little “Critical Thinking” boxes found in most of my old textbooks. Basically, what it came down to was that I was a good student who always thought I could be doing much better. While my personal best was always good enough for my parents and my teachers, it was never good enough for me. I would become very upset and disappointed in myself if I received a poor grade on a test or assignment. I would spend hours fretting over homework that should have only taken half that time. When I got frustrated, I would cry and get mad, then my mind would completely shut down to what I was trying to focus on and learn. While I loved the learning (the material, the process, the application), I hated the grades associated with it. I even remember the day when I was told that I was the salutatorian of my class. While most people would be elated, I was a little disappointed. I wanted to be the best, not second best. I know it sounds stupid, but that was how I felt at the time. So, my ultimate downfall was that I was seeking to attain the unattainable…perfection.

I feel that being a college student has helped me to combat this problem immensely. I have realized that while grades are important, they depict very little about one’s true understanding. I just grew up and found that striving to be perfect was completely useless and demoralizing. Now, I do my best…that’s all I can do. I am not nearly as competitive with my peers as I use to be and that’s a great feeling. Although, I still stress about school and my grades, at least now, I am more concerned with my personal understanding of something instead of how well a teacher “thinks” I understand it through a test, assignment, etc. Instead of becoming upset over trying to learn a confusing/difficult concept, I just take a break and let my mind rest. I ask someone for help, get on the Internet, or look through old books to find the answer. Taking college courses has given me the opportunity to explore concepts and take on projects in my own unique way. Of course, there is always some direction as to how an assignment should be completed, but I feel that I’ve really been able to take learning into my own hands and make it my own. Through this, I’ve discovered so much about myself as a learner…what styles work best for me, where and when I work most efficiently, as well as, what factors motivate me to learn. Thus, learning and learning about how I learn has now become an exhilarating and exciting process for me instead of merely a stressful one.